Your Child’s Sense of Belonging Begins at Home
By Stacey Joseph
You can read on, or listen to Stacey read her article here.
The dog days of summer are racing toward the finish line, and before you know it, our classrooms and hallways will be filled with the sounds of learning, laughter, and the joyful energy that comes with a new school year.
I’ve spent a lot of time this summer thinking about our kiddos, reflecting on the past school year, and looking ahead to all that awaits us this fall. As administrators, these quieter months give us the opportunity to reflect on what we’ve learned, how we can prepare for the year ahead, and how we can best support every child who walks through our doors. This summer, I found myself returning to one question over and over again:
In this moment, what is it that helps a child truly feel like they belong?
In a time when division tends to dominate our headlines, and the differences that exist between us can feel amplified, it’s so easy to lose sight of one fundamental truth – every child, no matter their background, history, or lived experience, wants to know that they matter. Before children can thrive emotionally, socially, and academically, they need to experience something far more foundational. They need to feel a true sense of belonging.
The research continues to affirm what we at DVFriends have a clear understanding about. Children who experience a strong sense of belonging through their families, cultural communities, school community, and one on one relationships are more likely to experience positive developmental, learning, and mental health outcomes. In her book “Atlas of the Heart,” one of my favorite thought leaders on belonging, Brene Brown, captures this reality poignantly when she writes, “A deep sense of belonging is an irreducible need of all people.”
The ongoing experience of having a true sense of belonging is a prerequisite for healthy development and an essential element to ensuring that children thrive. We also know that belonging is not built through grand gestures but rather cultivated through intentional, everyday moments that communicate to your child – You are seen. You are valued. You are needed. You matter.
As parents, guardians, and caregivers, what’s fundamentally important for us to understand is that belonging begins at home. As such, I’d like to share three simple yet powerful practices that can help you foster a lasting sense of belonging for your child at home, help you empower your child, and help your child foster and embrace their sense of belonging here at DV.
1. Begin Each Day With Grounding Connection
The first moments of the day often shape everything that follows. Understandably, busy mornings can make it tempting to rush through routines. This may seem obvious, but taking just a few extra minutes to make a connection with a child can have a lasting impact on the rest of the day.
Whether it's a warm greeting, a hug, eye contact, or simply asking how they're feeling, these moments communicate and ground our kiddos in safety and care. During morning greeter duty, whether it’s at parent drop off, bus drop off, or as kids walk in from taking SEPTA, we do our best to greet each student by name, because we understand that it’s those small interactions at the beginning of the day that send the powerful message: We’re glad you came to school today.
Children carry that feeling with them throughout the day. When they begin the morning feeling connected and seen, and then arrive at school to know that we’re happy they’re here, they are more likely to approach learning, relationships, and challenges with confidence. Pairing those messages at our front door, with the routine grounding connection from home makes for a solid foundation on which a strong sense of belonging is built.
2. Invest in What Brings Them Joy
Every child possesses unique interests, talents, and curiosities (and this may be biased) but DV kids’ interests are especially unique. Our kids are talented in so many wonderful ways, and their curiosities are just as fascinating as the beautiful ways in which they learn. When adults intentionally nurture those passions, children receive an important message. Who (and how) you are matters!
Supporting a child’s interest does not require expensive lessons or elaborate activities. It can simply be drawing together or putting together a puzzle at the kitchen table. It can be kicking a soccer ball or shooting hoops at the park or in the backyard. It can be listening to them explain why their favorite song touches them so deeply, or being curious about and celebrating their latest art, ceramic, or maker space creation.
These shared experiences do more than build skills, they strengthen your child’s identity. They tell children that their gifts have value and that they have something meaningful to contribute to the world around them. Belonging grows when children know they don't have to become someone else to be accepted, and what they have to contribute is needed, and enhances the spaces they belong to.
3. Create Opportunities for Inclusive Friendships
Children learn about the world largely through relationships. Families play an essential role in helping them develop empathy, curiosity, and respect for others. Invite conversations about kindness, fairness, curiosity, and inclusion. Encourage children to be curious about, and build friendships across differences whether those differences involve culture, language, interests, abilities, or lived experiences. Create opportunities for friends to gather, and use those moments to model respect while reinforcing behaviors that demonstrate compassion and inclusion.
The research tells us that children begin to notice and develop ideas about difference at a very young age. That makes family conversations even more important. When adults openly model respect, challenge bias and stereotypes, and celebrate all of the ways that diversity exists in our world, they begin to understand that belonging is something everyone deserves, and is not something that is reserved for a select group of people, nor a select few. Knowing this helps them embrace the fact that they should feel a sense of belonging, and they should help to foster a sense of belonging for others.
“Since the world is round, there is no way for us to walk away from each other, for even then, we are coming back together.”
-Amanda Gorman
Belonging Is Built One Interaction at a Time
Creating a culture of belonging doesn't require perfection. It requires intention and commitment. The everyday choices we make when and how we greet our children, how we encourage their passions, and how we help them to navigate relationships, shape the stories they tell themselves about their worth and about the worth of others.
At DV, we believe belonging is more than a feeling. It is an ongoing practice that strengthens families, transforms our school community, and helps us all continue to recognize and honor the Light in each child, so that they are able to thrive.
If you are unsure if DVFriends serves your student's learning profile, please contact the Admissions Office to speak to Jim Miller or Kavitha Patel.
Kavitha Patel
Assistant Director of Admissions, Director of Financial Aid
(610) 640-4150 x2120
Assistant Director of Admissions, Director of Financial Aid
(610) 640-4150 x2120